getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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