Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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