Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
