Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
