If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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