just come out here and I will go home with you...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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