eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm too high and old for this...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
