bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
