a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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