I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
