Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize