Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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