yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
