I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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