Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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