I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
