You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
