I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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