There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
