im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize