Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
