You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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