that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
