if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
