I need help removing her.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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