May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
