I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
