Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
