i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
