I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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