upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
