I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
420 ftw
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
