I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
