WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize