If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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