lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
