I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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