Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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