speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
