I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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