how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize