That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize