It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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