wrigley field is MILF paradise
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize