Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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