two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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