I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
