the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize