I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize