I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just puked most of my soul out..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
