That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
