Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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