I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
