who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
