And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This is the prime rib incident all over again
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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