Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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