flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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