with your own penis?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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