Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
