I seem to have left my pride at pride
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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