Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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