i may or may not be watching the land before time
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
