we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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