How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
