We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
