So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize