the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
