U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
