Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
