I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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