some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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