Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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