doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
