Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
