i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I deserve this hangover.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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