Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
