she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
