Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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